Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one > blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida > or the moon?" > > The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida????" > > > CAR TROUBLE > > A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. > > After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. > > She says, "What's the story?" > > He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" > > She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" > > > SPEEDING TICKET > > A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if > he could see her license. > > She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just > yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show > it to you!" > > > RIVER WALK > > There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another > blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the > other side?" > > The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, > "You ARE on the other side." > > AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE > > A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her > body hurt wherever she touched it. > > "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." > > The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, > then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and > screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she > touched made her scream. > > The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?" > > "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." > > "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken." > > KNITTING > > A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. > Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the > wheel was knitting! > > Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the > trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL > OVER!" > > "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!" > > BLONDE ON THE SUN > > A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian > said, "We were the first in space!" > > The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" > > The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" > > The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. > "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. > > To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at > night!" > > IN A VACUUM > > A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She > rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If > you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" > > She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?" > > FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! > > A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and > asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one > was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard > of someone naming dogs like that?" > > "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
He is a verrrrry bad influence on you. But the jokes are funny.